Every man is, or hopes to be, an Idler. Even those who seem to differ most from us are hastening to increase our fraternity; as peace is the end of war, so to be idle is the ultimate purpose of the busy.

There is perhaps no appellation by which a writer can better denote his kindred to the human species.

It has been found hard to describe man by an adequate definition. Some philosophers have called him a reasonable animal, but others have considered reason as a quality of which many creatures partake. He has been termed likewise a laughing animal; but it is said that some men have never laughed. Perhaps man may be more properly distinguished as an idle animal; for there is no man who is not sometimes idle. It is at least a definition from which none that shall find it in this paper can be excepted; for who can be more idle than the reader of the Idler ?

Scarcely any name can be imagined from which less envy or competition is to be dreaded. The Idler has no rivals or enemies. The man of business forgets him; the man of enterprise despises him; and though such as tread the same track of life, fall commonly into jealousy and discord, Idlers are always found to associate in peace, and he who is most famed for doing nothing, is glad to meet another as idle as himself.

—Dr. Johnson

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© 2009 by Top Hat Press
Text: Professor Solomon
Cover, illustrations, and “Mimi”: Steve Solomon
“Idle Moments”: Mickey Siporin
http://www.professorsolomon.com

CONTENTS
The Last Pedlars . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I
AESOP’S FABLE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19
TALES FROM THE BUREAUCRACY . . . . . . . . .. . . . 21
THE UNDERSEA ADVENTURES
OF CAPTAIN CORBEAU . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
DOWNSCALE DINING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 41
IDLE MOMENTS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
MIMI . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 47
ODDS & ENDS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

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