Published by the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention, When Your Child is Missing: A Family Survival Guide was written by parents and family members who have experienced the disappearance of a child.

It contains their combined advice concerning what you can expect when your child is missing, what you can do, and where you can go for help. It explains the role that various agencies and organizations play in the search for your missing child and discusses some of the important issues that you and your family need to consider.

I remember standing in the middle of the chaos thinking, I wish I had a book to tell me what to do.
 —Colleen Nick

Forward:

In an instant, a peaceful day can become a nightmare when a child is discovered missing. We have witnessed tragic abductions of children of all ages across America—in rural byways and major cities. We have also been heartened by the joyful reunions of children safely returned to their parents.

Children may be missing from home for a variety of reasons. They may run away after a heated argument with their parents or be lured away by an online predator in an Internet chatroom. They may be taken by a noncustodial parent to another country—perhaps to strike back at an ex-spouse—or abducted by someone the child does not know.

When Your Child Is Missing: A Family Survival Guide was written as a labor of love and a vision of hope by parents who have experienced firsthand the trauma of a missing child. It has been updated to provide parents the most current information available and provides helpful insights into what families should do—and what they can expect—when a child is missing. Above all, it offers encouragement and support at a time when they are needed most.

I pray that you will never experience the trauma of a missing child and that every child will be kept safe from harm and danger. Should your child become missing, however, I hope that this Guide gives you the knowledge to face this terrible challenge with strength and determination.

J. Robert Flores
Administrator
Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention

Download When Your Child is Missing: A Family Survival Guide

PDF format, 2.5MB, 98Pages.

Introduction:

When your child is missing, your whole world seems to fall apart. You are bombarded by questions from friends, neighbors, the police, and the media and forced to make decisions that you never thought you would have to make. You feel desperate, confused, isolated. You may feel that you have nowhere to go for help or support.

Many parents who have faced similar crises have said that they wished they had a book to tell them where to turn when their child was missing. They felt that they were left on their own to figure out what to do. They longed for someone to give them direction or to tell them where to go for help and what needs to be done. They also wished they had known what to expect and how to respond.

This Guide was written by parents and family members who have experienced the disappearance of a child. It contains their combined advice concerning what you can expect when your child is missing, what you can do, and where you can go for help. It explains the role that various agencies and organizations play in the search for your missing child and discusses some of the important issues that you and your family need to consider. The first checklist, What You Should Do When Your Child Is First Missing, summarizes the most critical steps that parents should take when their child is first missing, including whom to call, what to do to preserve evidence, and where to turn for help.

The rest of the Guide is divided into seven chapters, each of which is structured to allow you to find the information you need quickly and easily. Each chapter explains both the short- and long-term issues and contains a checklist and chapter summary for later reference. Chapter 1, The Search, focuses on the search for your child and explains how you as a parent can best participate in the search. Chapter 2, Law Enforcement, describes your relationship with law enforcement and offers tips that will help you work together effectively. Chapter 3, The Media, examines issues related to the media, including media packages, press conferences, and interviews. Chapter 4, Photo and Flier Distribution, offers suggestions for producing fliers about your child and for managing the photo and flier distribution process. Chapter 5, Volunteers, focuses on the many uses of volunteers—both trained and untrained—to help in the search and to provide for the needs of the family. Chapter 6, Rewards and Donations, discusses the use of rewards and the management of monetary donations. Chapter 7, Personal and Family Considerations, emphasizes the need to take care of yourself, your children, and members of your extended family. A list of recommended readings and a list of public and private resources appear at the back of the Guide.

It is important to note that there is no right or wrong way to respond to the disappearance of a child, nor is there a right or wrong way to feel. The path you follow must be right for you. What makes sense for you will be based on your needs, your experiences, and your circumstances. Our hope is that the Guide will help you to make informed decisions about what you do and how you go about it.

You may find that the information in this Guide is overwhelming right now. If so, ask family members, friends, or other support persons to read it for you. They can help you take the steps needed to help recover your missing child.

Finally, as hard as it may seem, try to remain hopeful. Remember that hope is more than a wish, helping you to clear this hurdle. Hope is essential to your survival.

Read When Your Child is Missing: A Family Survival Guide Online

U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention
810 Seventh Street NW. Washington, DC 20531

John Ashcroft
Attorney General

Deborah J. Daniels
Assistant Attorney General

J. Robert Flores
Administrator

Third Edition. May 2004.

Recommended Readings:

Critical Incident Response Group, Child Abduction and Serial Killer Unit. 1997. Child Abduction Response Plan. Quantico, VA: Federal Bureau of Investigation.

Designed for law enforcement agencies, this document is available only through the Crimes Against Children Coordinator of the local FBI Field Office. It explains essential techniques in child abduction investigations.

Echols, Mike. 1991. I Know My First Name Is Steven. Kearney, MO: Pinnacle Books.

Though not officially out of print, this book is out of stock indefinitely at the printer. Copies may be available at your local library or in larger bookstores. The author describes the long ordeal of two children who were kidnapped by Kenneth Parnell and the trauma they faced.  

Federal Agency Task Force for Missing and Exploited Children. 2004. Federal Resources on Missing and Exploited Children: A Directory for Law Enforcement and Other Public and Private Agencies. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention.

Developed for law enforcement agencies and other federal, state, and local agencies that work with missing and exploited children, this directory describes the many federal services, training programs, and resources that relate to missing and exploited children. Contact information is provided for easy access. The directory is available free of charge by calling the National Criminal Justice Reference Service (NCJRS) at 800–851–3420. If you prefer, you can download copies of the directory from the NCJRS Justice Information Web site (www.ncjrs.org).

Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. 2002. A Family Resource Guide on International Parental Kidnapping. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention.

This guide was developed by federal, state, and local agencies and organizations, and parents of children abducted to another country by the noncustodial parent. It offers descriptions and realistic assessments of civil and criminal remedies, explains applicable laws, identifies public and private resources, and identifies strategies to help left-behind parents recover their children or reestablish meaningful contact with them in another country. This guide is available free of charge by calling NCJRS at 800–851–3420. If you prefer, you can download copies of the guide from the NCJRS Justice Information Web site (www.ncjrs.org).

Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. 2002. A Law Enforcement Guide on International Parental Kidnapping. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention.

This guide is a companion to A Family Resource Guide on International Parental Kidnapping. It serves as a resource for federal, state, and local law enforcement officers who are called on to respond to international parental kidnapping cases. It offers ideas and suggestions for preventing international abductions; discusses applicable laws, legal remedies, and liability concerns; describes the role of law enforcement as both the initial responder and the investigator; and offers strategies for extradition, reunification, and recovery. This guide is available free of charge by calling NCJRS at 800–851–3420.

Turner, Johanna. 1995. Grief at Work. Washington, DC: American Hospice Foundation.

This booklet provides suggestions for employees and managers for coping with grief and loss at work. The booklet is available from the American Hospice Foundation, 1130 Connecticut Avenue NW., Suite 700, Washington, DC 20036 (202–223–0204).

Turner, Johanna. 1996. Grief at School. Washington, DC: American Hospice Foundation.

This booklet for educators and counselors provides suggestions for helping children to cope with crisis and grief in the school setting. The booklet is available from the American Hospice Foundation, 1130 Connecticut Avenue NW., Suite 700, Washington, DC 20036 (202–223–0204).

Walsh, John. 1997. Tears of Rage. New York, NY: Pocket Books.

This book recounts the powerful and emotional story of John Walsh and his wife Revé following the 1981 abduction and murder of their 6-year-old son Adam. The book also chronicles John Walsh’s 16-year exhaustive efforts on behalf of missing and exploited children. Available in bookstores.

Ward, Heather Patricia. 1994. I Promise I’ll Find You. Ontario, Canada: Firefly Books.

This heartwarming children’s book tells the story of a mother who promises to do everything humanly possible to find her child should that child ever become lost or missing from home. Available in bookstores.

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